There have been quite a few explanations for this, ranging from tribal history that has been implanted in our genes, to societal programming on what is right and wrong for us to do.Put simply, we just happen to desire social acceptance more than anything else that does not physically keep us alive. We want our family to be proud of us, our friends and acquaintances to respect and include us, and the rest of the world to desire us.What’s the opposite of acceptance? Rejection. And that’s what we’re afraid of.I’m going to give you some powerful techniques to eradicate this fear’s hold on your life, but before that, I want to discuss the root of this in depth for you.We’re going to call a girl or group not being interested as something other than “rejection” or “getting rejected.”

After all, you didn’t get rejected. Your approach did. If you went in differently, the reaction would have been different. We’re going to call it “getting blown out” or a “blow-out.” This is because while the set didn’t know enough about you to reject you personally, they did express that they wanted to end the interaction.There’s only three reasons an approach might not go well for me:1) My game wasn’t good enough at this point to handle this particular situation2) My game was good enough, but I made a mistake in this particular situation3) There were extenuating circumstances that prevented success, despite that I ran a good set.That’s it. There are no possibilities for why it can go wrong.

YOUR LOOKS ARE NOT WHAT GETS YOU BLOWN OUT.

Your game is the problem; not your looks, not your value. It’s completely dependent on your social skill-set.When Tyler Durden makes an approach that doesn’t go well (which does happen even for the masters), he says it affects him as emotionally as if he was shooting hoops and had his hand crooked on the basketball and missed.So you have basically three options to consider. You may have been socially miscalibrated and messed up a set you could have done well. So you learn from your mistake. It also might have been a too difficult set for you to win at this point in your learning curve. You still get mad props for going for it and you are no doubt better because you did go for it. The people that get great at pick-up constantly approach sets out of their comfort zones, where instant success is unlikely. It might be a go-go dancer swinging around a pole.

It may be a beautiful girl surrounded by 7 guys. It may be a celebrity. When you’re higher in your learning curve, you’ll be able to own that set.
Until then, it’s only practice.A great PUA named Hoobie once said that “Every failure is a brick in my palace.” I would change that to “Every approach is a brick in my palace.” The latter is more accurate, because every attempt you make at a pickup, it adds to your cumulative experience.And of course there are situations where the set-up is precarious at best and it is near impossible to actually win the set. If a group of girls are having a girl’s night out for a friend who’s husband just cheated on her, they’re going to be giving her 100% of their attention and putting guys to the side for the night.

There’s no way you would ever know that, so just be open to the possibility. This is not to say you should excuse yourself every time a set doesn’t go well. You can’t always say “She must have been married.” You still have personal accountability. Just let the possibility that it was an impossible set be open in the back of your mind.
Now here are some specific techniques for consistently getting approaches done each night:· Make it a MUST that you approach a minimum of 6 sets for the night. That you literally can't leave til you do it. Make it your goal to get blown out 6 times. Yes, no numbers, no lays, just get blown out. That way when you get blown out you're closer to your goal.·

If you have a wing, give him 100 dollars. Have him give you 10 dollars back for each approach you do. At the end of the night, he keeps the leftover cash.
· Make it a point to say some outrageous stuff in approaches, stuff you KNOW won't work. Every third approach or so, I will sometimes use a “fun” approach that I don't’ expect to work like going up to a group of girls and saying “Are you ready for the big time?”·

A good
Exercise from Ross Jeffries is to go to a place like a shopping mall or busy street downtown and stop a girl and say "Excuse me, forgive the interruption. I'm Manny Martian. What is your favorite flavored bowling ball?" Now that's not a pickup attempt, because you were not trying to seduce her. Go do that about 20 times and it should be easier. It may be better to do that one in a major city an hour or so away from where you live for that one.You have to go BEYOND what a typical approach is before you feel comfortable with a normal approach. Once you say something ridiculous and realize you're still alive and breathing afterwards, you can laugh it off and it’s a heck of a lot easier to ask a couple women what their opinion is on something.·
FOR NEWBIES ONLY:
When you approach, touch the girls before you start talking. Like tap a shoulder. That instigates the "point of no return" signal that let’s you know you're already in the interaction. When you see a set, go 3-2-1, TAP, and then they're looking at you and you have to speak. After doing this for a few weeks though, quickly phase it out since it is NOT solid game for a proper pickup.
· Practice seeing women for as they are and not as the demi-gods we make them out to be in the field. If you see a woman in sexy bitch boots, sparkling eye shadow, and shimmering lipstick, of course all you can think of how absolutely wonderful it would be to kiss her. Now look at her and in your head take the lipstick off, as well as the rest of the make-up, and think of how she looks on laundry day. You don’t have to imagine her ugly, but just a bit plainer. That should take it down a notch.·

 Lastly, be social in general with women of all shapes and sizes. The more often you talk to women outside of a pick-up session, the more natural it will be to start a conversation with any girl at a bar. Talk to fat, older and unattractive women as well.
You may always feel some jitters your first set of the night, and I know pros who feel that way after 10 years of picking up the most beautiful women. They just plow through despite the initial unpleasant feeling. And thats what a real man does: act in spite of fear, and act in spite of discomfort.

 
Intimacy 01/13/2009
 

Today, the word intimacy has taken on sexual connotations. But it is much more than that. It includes all the different dimensions of our lives -- yes, the physical, but also the social, emotional, mental and spiritual aspects as well. Intimacy really means total life sharing. And haven't we all had the desire at one time or another for closeness, for oneness, for sharing our life with someone totally?

intimacy

There's something about our psychological, spiritual, and physical makeup that cries out for intimacy with another. That's because God designed marriage to be the most intimate of all human relationships, in which we share life intellectually, socially, emotionally, spiritually, and physically.
Intellectual intimacy. This isn't about discussing highly intellectual ideas. The important thing is discussing your thoughts. They may be thoughts about food, finances, health, crime, work, politics. They reveal something of what's gone on in your mind throughout the day.

Social intimacy.
This has to do with spending time around the events of life. Some of these events we experience together; others happen while we're apart and are shared through open communication. Much of life involves doing. When we do things together, we not only develop a sense of teamwork, we also enhance our sense of intimacy.

Emotional intimacy.
Feelings are our spontaneous, emotional responses to what we encounter through the five senses. I see the fire truck racing down the road and I feel troubled. You touch my hand and I feel loved. When we share emotions, we build emotional intimacy.

 Spiritual intimacy. Often the least excavated of all the foundations of marital intimacy, yet this has a significant impact on the others. It doesn't require agreement of belief on every detail. Instead, we seek to tell each other what's going on in our inner self. It's discussing our thoughts about spiritual realities. The purpose isn't agreement, but understanding.

Physical intimacy.
Because men and women are different (long live their differences!), we often come at sexual intimacy in different ways. The husband's emphasis is often on the physical aspects—the seeing, touching, and climax are the focus of his attention. The wife, though, comes to sexual intimacy with more interest in the relationship. To feel loved, appreciated, and treated tenderly brings her great joy. Sexual intimacy requires understanding and responding to these differences.

Practicing intimacy
An essential ingredient of intimacy is allowing your spouse to be himself without striving to conform him to your ideals. In intimacy, we try to grow closer together, not to eliminate the "otherness," but to enjoy it. Men and women are different and we must not, even with good intentions, seek to destroy those differences.


What keeps us from experiencing intimacy? All of us are egocentric; the world revolves around us. Yet, when we focus on self, we lose intimacy. The opposite of self-centeredness, then, is love. Love concentrates on the well-being of the spouse. We take time to listen to the thoughts, feelings, and desires of our spouse. We seek to understand and to respond with empathy.

We choose to do things with each other, even things that may not be our favorite activities, simply because we want to be with each other.
In the context of such intimacy we become supportive and caring of each other, which builds a stronger, more contented marriage.

 
 

The only way you can live a happy and satisfied life, is when you start doing things that make you happy and satisfied. Sure, it sounds easy, and can be easy if you just remember to make yourself one of your top priorities. Too many people neglect themselves, feeling that it would be selfish if they took any time out to focus on their own being. While it is good to take care of others and other important things going on in your life, it is mandatory that you never forget about yourself. Discover who you really are and what matters most to you. Living a great life does not just happen. It requires, planning and following those plans to a life that reflects who you truly are.

Most people avoid planning goals and dreams in their lives because they may have a fear of committing to it or failing. They feel that by officially writing it down, they would actually have to go through with pursuing it. This is where you need to rate the importance of your life missions. What is most important to you? Is it losing a certain amount of weight? Getting your degree? Spending more time with your spouse or children? Whatever the reason or reasons may be, just write all of them down. You may feel that making a mental note of your goals and dreams is enough, but you could very well be setting yourself up for disappointment and failure. By writing it down, you will become a visual witness of those goals. Try writing them in an organizer, with a little reminder written in each day.

Excuses are demons you must learn to fight off if you wish to start living a happy and satisfied life. Most people claim to have many dreams, but say they just do not have the time to approach them. Stop making excuses! You are the only one who holds the power to make a real difference in your life. Sure, we all have busy lives with our careers and families, but nothing takes up 24 hours of your day. So if something is truly important to you, you will be sure to make the time to work on it. You can do this by replacing it with something less important. For example, if you claim you do not have the time to work on the other important goals in your life, perhaps it is time for you to start making close observations on the way you spend your time. If you spend several hours of the day working, studying, and then several hours taking care of house chores and family, what else are you doing with the rest of your day? If you spend a good portion watching television, then you need to cut back on that and use that time to begin and follow an exercise plan you have been thinking to focus on for a long time (or whatever goal it is you have).

Making yourself one of your first priorities is not selfish. It actually is obligatory to do so in order to succeed in the other subjects of your life. Without a happy and satisfied you, there will be no happy and satisfied life, because you will be stressed out and unhappy. You might be consciously ignoring your needs and desires, but your subconscious mind has not forgotten about you and will constantly remind you through stress, anger, sadness, insecurity and feelings of failure.

Start listening to yourself and becoming the best friend and supporter you need. No one is going to work on your happiness for you, so find the power and motivation stored up inside you, and use it to direct yourself into the path of true happiness and satisfaction. You can do anything you set your mind to, and once you have stopped and gotten in touch with yourself, you will learn and realize just how wonderful and capable you really are, and how you always have been. You will not only realize these things, but also begin loving who are more and more, which will not only lead you to achieving the things that make you most happy, but will guide you into a world of many new dreams come true.